My Scale is Playing Mind Games

I think I have a reasonably healthly body image. Frankly I don't have the energy emotionally or spiritually for self loathing.

I'm not entirely happy with my body, and I definitely have good days and bad days. The ups and downs of getting pregnant and having twins has been a roller coaster, for sure. At the moment I'd sure like to be less lumpy with toned abs... toned everything, but I also feel like I will get back into better shape in time. And while I still have a few extra pound I'd like to get rid of, I feel it's managable.
I'm glad I have a healthy outlook, because being married to someone who often trains avidly for cycling could be a nightmare! Cyclists sit around like old women discussing their weight in terms of who has a fat a** and who is currently shaving off just a few more pounds to be extra rail thin.

We have a scale in our bathroom, and I've been in the habit of weighing myself on a somewhat regular basis. Not a compulsion, but after ballooning up when pregnant and the constant monitoring, it was nice to watch the numbers decline as well. After dropping the majority of my baby weight shortly after childbirth, the remaining weight has generally been hovering around the same 5lb range. Until the other day...when my weight suddenly dropped about 15lbs. Amazing!!

Ok, I didn't really think it was accurate, our batteries must be dying, but the effect was powerful nonetheless. I FELT lighter! I felt more confident, more sexy and more in control. I can eat what I want, not exercise and still lose 15lbs! I was surprised by what a difference it made. I knew it wasn't right, but it seemed like I did look thinner. How crazy is that?!!

Sadly later that same day I was back to my regular weight. Or is it my regular weight?? What is real and what is imagined now?? Is it somewhere in between? Only my scale knows for sure, and apparently he's not telling.