Saturday, May 07, 2011

Motherhood Series - Margo

Margo and I met at work when we were both young and relatively new to the city. We've had a ton of fun together! You know, back in the day. Actually we still have a great time together. She makes me laugh.
Margo is a sensitive soul with a gift for telling wonderful stories about the people in her life. She remembers little things, and sees things, and makes you feel important. She has also grown into a fierce, brave mother. She fights for her kids. For what they need. For things most of us take for granted. She's an advocate and a teacher and a truly beautiful woman.
And sometimes I call her Margaret ;)

1. Tell us about yourself!

(My given name is Margaret Lucy...and only a few sweet people call me Margaret, the rest call me Margo. I am a SAHM of two boys. Warner is 5 and Rhett is 3. These boys have individual needs above and beyond the regular stuff as one lives with ADHD and the other with TSC, Tuberous Sclerosis Complex.My husband says it's no wonder our kids have health challenges as our combined age at birth was mid-late 70's!:) A late blooming mom in that I was 33 or 34 (I forget and am too tired too figure it out) when my first son was born. Choosing to be a SAHM was a given for me and my husband and I wouldn't have it any other way even though it is one of the hardest things I have ever undertaken...and mainly hard due to my own expectations...I think...and the busy-ness of raising boys, my boys anyway.

2. What were your expectations of motherhood before you had kids?

Openly, throughout my early life I always vocalized that I did NOT want children as they are so precious and I didn't want to break them! I was the favorite auntie, the treasured babysitter and that was perfect for me as I lived my single and dating life. But then I met my husband and I knew children were a deal breaker as he has always known that he wants two kids. So, I wrapped my mind around becoming a mom and it was an easy decision. Very easy. I knew we would have two kids and close together because as a child I really disliked being so much younger than my siblings and wanted my children to be close and friends. Therefore the decision was to have them close in age...20 months apart. That was a crazy idea!
Growing up in a large, very blended family....7 kids with a huge age span and three different sets of parents and a couple of secret babies in there....did not give me the desire for a large family. Too much noise! Too dramatic!

3. What has been(was) your biggest surprise about Motherhood?

For me, the biggest surprise of motherhood is that I never feel like I'm getting it right, never feel good enough as a mother and always feel like there is more that I could be doing for my boys. The fierceness in which I love my children and protect them is an area that does NOT surprise me. That wasn't part of the question was it?!

4. Biggest joy?
Watching my children learn and succeed, seeing the look of absolute joy on their little faces when I pick them up from school/babysitter, etc and feeling a little hand stroke my face...petting me like a favored pet....are some of the moments that bring complete joy to my everlasting feeling that I can tap into.

5. Best wish for your children?

Where does one start?
World peace!;) Self esteem and good health.

6. How do you find time for yourself/what do you do?

Recently time for myself has been to attend funerals and visit sick relatives. I'm not kidding! How sad is that? But seriously, I took a night away to attend a funeral out of town and took the long road home and it was wonderful. Two weeks later I found myself racing to the west coast to sit at an ill aunt's bedside...with my sister who has 4 kids and is a role model in the mother dpt....and it was so great to be on my own! Funerals and sickness, that's when I find "me time"!
With great difficulty! I stay up too late....utilize lovely teen neices who need pocket money & love my boys...and sometimes I even take the boys to "Playcare" or an indoor play area where I can then sit with a book or journal or something.
Since my husband now works away for 3 weeks at a time, personal time is precious, far and few between.

7. What do you wish you had more of? Less of?
More patience and less frustration.

8.What do you hope your kids learn from you?

This is such a really difficult question for me because as I write these answers, thoughts, I am not the mom I want to be...planned to be...hoped to be. Maybe next year, I'll have an answer.

9. What are some of the best things you learned from your own mother?

My mother taught me to put her husband and children before herself. She taught me to appreciate the little things....baking, knitting, sewing, quilting, all foods made from scratch. She also taught me to try anything at any age and stage in life. The joy of riding on a swing as an adult. Laughing until your eyes tear and you can't catch your breath during a crazy game of spoons is a good thing. To love your mother and care for her until the end....even if that love is a difficult love.

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