Tuesday, February 26, 2008

'Letting' Go

I actually have many things to post, but this one has been brewing for a while so I might as well be out with it.
And it kind of goes with yesterday's post and Mrs. M's most recent post...
On 'Letting Yourself Go'.

Now no one likes ugly sweatpants or the same hairdo since high school. BUT.
I have a big problem with the idea that I have 'let' myself go in any way, shape, or form. Like I wouldn't rather look good and rested and actually be rested and rational at any given moment. And be cute in stylish clothes with clean well-behaved children at my side.
We could all go shopping together and buy new outfits instead of trying to sneak a few minutes here and there or try to pick something up at the grocery store without trying it on or try to go to a mall with them only to fight with them every step.
I would much rather be paying to get my hair done on a regular basis rather than paying for diapers.
I would love to have the energy to bounce out of bed at the crack of dawn and exercise/shower/blow dry and curl my hair before I wake my husband with the smell of fresh brewed coffee and french toast for the family.
BUT I DO NOT.

I adore my children. I'm lucky to stay home with them. But it's harder than anything I ever imagined.
Some woman are much better than I am and do much better than I do. And I constantly aspire to do more/do better. I have not given up. But thanks for asking.

And I do think it will get easier as time passes. That's how I cope.

But let me assure you.
I 'let' nothing go. I feel like it was ripped out from under my feet and I fight to get 'myself' back every day.

That is all.

4 comments:

Jamie said...

I know how you feel. For what it's worth, I think you look pretty hot all the time! :) You're super cool to me! :)

Mmmmaaahvelous said...

Oh, Mrs. Mittens, please do not ever think that my post was directed to you in any way shape or form. I'm blogging about myself. I fully know that in some areas of my life I have "let go"...make little or no effort. And yes, you're right. Having a family is the most difficult thing ever...and it leaves us with few options/time/energy, etc. I pray you're right that it will get easier with time. Hopefully, by then I'm not so far gone that it's a moot point.
And for what it's worth, I agree with jamie, you always look more together and in control of your situation than I ever feel.
And one more thing...reading, and seeing how you find even a smidgeon of time to devote to your love of photography is absolutely inspiring to me. To you it may feel like not enough time, but it's inspiring to me. Gives me hope for myself.
So, now I will stop rambling, but I could go on and on and on....

Go Cards said...

I think you are an amazing person!

Two Mittens said...

And right back at ya grrlfriends! xo

Mrs. M I wasn't taking offense to your post. I'm all about the feelin' good. Lookin' good.
I think you're fantastic.
That is my point.