Friday, February 23, 2007

Welcome to my Rollercoaster

Ok, I'm well aware that I am coming from a place full of crazy hormones and phlehm which probably explains a lot. But I shall continue anyway.

A couple of things happened yesterday.
Last night CH and I were talking about the sad fact that a couple of his friends were getting separated/divorced. Now, I don't actually even know these people myself. They are guys CH cycles with for the most part. They have both been together with their spouses for many years. One has grown kids. The other has none. Like I said, I don't even really know them at all. It still makes me feel incredibly sad. Two people who loved each other and made a life together can't continue on together anymore. Even though sometimes it's for the best. I guess because I have a spouse. And I'm over-relating. And I'm emotional.

And then I watched Grey's Anatomy. Which I KNOW is a tv show. And the people aren't real. But someone almost died and it was about the people you love and loss and how we share each others joys and pain. And if your mom is mean to you, you will be screwed up. And my mom is always nice to me. And I have friends and loved ones and they mean the world to me. And of course I don't want to lose them. And I'm emotional. And over-relating.

And it made me think how it's easy to feel that love when the big things happen. Someone is hurt or at risk of being taken away and we focus on how much we love them. But then the day to day things chip away at us. We don't pay enough attention, or we take for granted, or we argue, or we are too critical. And one day we can't stand it anymore. We don't want to be with the person we used to love most. It scares me how this kind of thing can happen.

Because I have loved ones. And did you remember the pregnant hormones over here? I think I'm 0ver-relating...
(wait a minute, is this what it's like to be drunk?)


Mmmmaaahvelous said...

Buckle up, hang on, close your eyes & laugh maniacially...rides are less scary with crazy laughter.
I'm with ya my friend.
We have friends who after 25 yrs of marriage are calling it quits, a couple who appeared to have it all..when I first found out I was a wreck..."why do I think we can make it of they can't*sob, sob, *sigh*"...Then there's Prison Break which I have a hard time watching because the little girl is sick...
...and it doesn't help that we're pregnant SAHMs who maybe aren't feeling quite like the intellectuals with witty, stimulating conversation skills and sassy good looks that we normally convey....
Can pregnant people take copious amounts of Evening Primrose Oil to regulate their hormones? I'll get us some shares and a cupboard full!

Jennifer said...

I'm so glad that other people over-relate like I do. Of course, you have the excuse of hormones. I have no excuse.

Chuck and I were just talking today about how I have weird thoughts (often) of what I would do if he cheated, or if he took off or died or something.

It's strange, I know.

Alyson said...

I think I'm seated right next to you on that rollercoaster. I watched Grey's too and i did fine up until Izzie was walking down the hallway and stopped as if she felt Denny's presence. I went to the ugly cry, snot bubbles and all in less that 10 seconds. I was so mad at myself that I slapped Tim's leg and said "Damit". It wasn't his fault but better his leg than mine right?

I had the same reaction when i was at the hair dresser's and we started talking about what would happen if one of our spouses died. How would we expect them to move on? It was snot bubbles again.

Jen, I heard once that you had about six months after the baby was born until you feel normal. I personally don't think that is true. I think I didn't feel normal until E was out of diapers. I think there is some toxic thing that happens when your exposed to human waste combined with sinthetic diapers. There is your excuse.

YoJo said...

My friend at work watches 'Grey's' religiously and we've both decided that it's our new emotional outlet. Once you get over the initial horror and surprise of your own (in my case, completely non-hormonal) reaction, it's kind of soothing. I cried when Denny man, I love that guy) told Meredith about sensing Izzy and when they sensed each other at the end of the show (perfect moment, PERFECT). I also cried when Meredith's mom hugged her and told her she was "anything but ordinary". I even cried when Christina walked into Meredith's room and I'm not even sure why. Just ride the wave, baby. Being a woman rocks. ;)