I am the kind of person who needs to be involved in something creative. I am happiest when I am in the midst of it all. Planning, collecting, executing, looking at other creative works and being inspired. It is the twisting and turning of all those little cogs when time evaporates and I feel like I am truly following my bliss.
My problem seems to be that laundry, meal planning and making, bottle scrubbing, diaper changing, and the rest of the endless daily duties of 'life' seem to be in direct conflict with my creative energies.
(Can you hear that creaking? That's Pandora's Box I've just opened.)
Yes, I adore my children and I know it is a blessing to be able to be home with them. I don't feel the need to work outside the home, because then I would just have 2 full time jobs. That's not really the issue I'm getting at here.
And there are PLENTY of women who have children and manage to live very productive creative lives. I've seen their blogs! I have their paintings!
My point is simply that I havn't figured it out yet.
And some days I can go about my business (busy-ness?) and all is well. And other days I feel that if I have to suck up one more crumb or make one more muffin, I will implode and my head will look like this.
Some women manage to turn it around and become the Domestic Goddess to be envied and admired by all. Why can't I?!
It is also a double edged sword. If I do manage to become inspired and want to sink my teeth into something it can be worse. I become restless and frustrated by the 'real' demands and distractions of life.
I suspect the problem may be exaggerated at the moment by pregnancy and the fact that I can barely keep up with the boys all day, let alone link two creative thoughts together.
Perhaps I need to be content, for now with the fact that I am creating a person all day and be happy with that...
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5 comments:
Hey girl! Just thought I'd drop you a line and say HI!! How are you? I have enjoyed reading your blog. Your boys are so freakin' cute and big. Question: are you pregnant??? One of your blogs led me to believe that you are... *sigh* Anyway... chat soon.
Like this entry perhaps?
Yes,I am.
Would you like to be???
How're things? I heard you were recently out of the country.
I TOTALLY know what you mean... well all except the pregnant part. I totally hear you! I think that being balanced is a hard thing to do. It sounds like you are trying to strike a balance in your life. I think that being balanced and pregnant is harder to do. I know that being balanced and being able to paint or photograph or have some artistic release is vital.
Maybe Pandora's box needed to be opened... I believe after it was opened hope was all that remained...
Thanks for the comment Darcy. I especially appreciate the part about Pandora's box.
Even a little bit of creativity (besides baking & incubating) is worth while. It's in your soul! Find a way...any little way. You deserve it.
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